How Self-Love Can Save Your Marriage

via Huffington Post | Pacific MFT

via Huffington Post | Pacific MFT

{How Self Love Saved My Marriage - Melody Godfred, Huffington Post}

We resonate so much with the real-ness of this personal story of self-recovery from Melody Godfred, co-creator of the Self Love Pinky Ring.

From both a clinical and personal perspective, her story is so relate-able and so important. 

As wives, husbands, partners, parents, friends -- as people with the fundamental need for healthy attachments -- we must start understanding the value of {balanced} self-love and self-care as part of our relational health. We just can't stress this enough. 

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"Self-love for so long was associated solely with narcissism. You would think self loves makes it harder for you to love others. But it doesn’t. Exactly the opposite.When you are full, you have a well to pull from in service to others" (Godfred, 2016). 

Life usually doesn't get easier as it continues ... certain things may ... but it's nature that our responsibilities grow continuously - especially when marriage, family, and raising kids kicks in on top of managing life in general.

Unfortunately, it's all too easy to get lost in the madness and lose yourself.

"As I grew older and responsibilities mounted, two things started to happen: I became a perfectionist (which means I was not only hard on myself, I was extremely hard on everyone else), and I became a self-sacrificer. Now neither of these things was a stretch: I am the latest in a long line of superwomen who are adept at martyring themselves in service to others" (Godfred, 2016). 

...and as you may have experienced already, perfect parenting certainly doesn't exist, perfect marriages are just not a thing, and self-sacrificing really only hurts yourself and everyone around you. 

So, I encourage you to take a coffee break from your busy day, check out the full article, and really think about what comes up...

...are you on your life train?? Or did you forget yourself at the station?

Please click here to view full article on Huffington Post, and I'd love to hear your thoughts on FacebookInstagram, Linkedin, or via email!

If you'd like to talk to someone about how you can "re-find your you" and redefine your life and your relationships, please contact us! We offer therapeutic services for children, adolescents, adults, couples, families, and groups...helping people work through their pastlive in the present, and look toward a hopeful future. 

South Bay, Los Angeles - Manhattan Beach

West Los Angeles


Β© 2016 Rachel Cord, Pacific MFT Network

Oh yes, the past can hurt, but there is purpose in the pain...don't run from it

As humans (yep, that includes you), we all experience pain ... trauma history, abuse, loss, rejection, mental illness, tragedy, broken hearts...the list is infinite. No matter what makes up our past, there is pain there. And oftentimes, we are told to "never look back", to "keep what's passed, past", and to "be strong and move on" ....

- why? -

because it's uncomfortable. it hurts. and we often adapt to that by avoiding, running,and suppressing the painful yesterdays.  

It's natural to do so, and maybe you were taught or modeled that as a child. But the truth is, we can never really, successfully, run and hide from our past...because our past is part of our story, not the end of our story, but the painful parts are a big chunk of it....and where the most growth is! 

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Yup, your past...even the most painful chapters that you've "forgotten" about, are parts of you -- and while the past does not have to define you, it has helped to shape and form your path to right now.

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I believe in the importance of owning and honoring every single part of yourself ... even the parts you hate...mistakes you've made, wrong-doings done to you, shame, regret, anger... 
Disowning those parts of yourself impede on the ability to truly move forward, and to ultimately feel and be whole. 

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By running away, you give more power to the past that hurts you, and take power away from your ability to grow.  

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I would love to hear your thoughts and experience with this ... please go to our Facebook page, Instagram or Linkedin profile and drop me a note!

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If you'd like to talk to someone about how you can face, process, and set free from a painful history, please contact us! We offer therapeutic services for children, adolescents, adults, couples, families, and groups...helping people work through their pastlive in the present, and look toward a hopeful future. 

 Β© 2016 Rachel Cord, Pacific MFT Network

Recovery means trusting that stifled, yet healthy, part of you that knows you are actually not OK

cross post - Pacific MFT Network

cross post - Pacific MFT Network

In the pre-stages and early stages of eating disorder recovery, your world can feel like it's turning upside down. Like everyone around you who "cares" about you and your "health" is just trying to take away the one thing you can always count on...the one thing you are successful at...or that no one else can really control, but you can. 

It's infuriating... terrifying...and you won't want to let go.

You'll want to fight, you'll want to deny, justify, and hide, even more than you already have been.

But there will be a seemingly silent part of you, a part of you that has likely been significantly stifled by your eating disorder running rampant in your mind and body...this small part of you will know that you need help, and that no, you are actually not OK, really. 

We came across this beautifully personal piece from The Mighty, giving advice to those in early recovery, and were compelled to share it. Click on the following link to see full post, titled

"What I Wish I Could Tell Someone in the Early Stages of Eating Disorder Recovery"

http://themighty.com/2016/06/advice-for-anyone-starting-their-eating-disorder-recovery/

If any of it strikes a chord for you, we encourage you to seek support. 

If you're in L.A., we offer outpatient services for those struggling with eating disorders and other mental and emotional illnesses. Please visit our website for more info on our Eating Disorder Recovery Group, and resources for individuals and families. www.pacificmft.com

Click here or scroll to the bottom of this article for details on my ED Group in Manhattan Beach.

If you or someone who know may be struggling with an eating disorder, please consult your physician, or visit the following websites for help finding resources: 

http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/ 

http://www.edreferral.com/ 

Share your Light, Spread the Love

via Pacific MFT Network (cross-post) 

Given the horrific amount of tragedies, violence, and hate polluting our world in present day, we have been thinking a lot about how we can possibly combat this as individuals in our own communities. 

Following the Orlando tragedy [#prayfororlando #prayforhumanity] just a week and a half ago, we posted this moving quote by Martin Luther King Jr...

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that".

Sometimes, it's easy to get caught up in all the darkness around us, only to slowly, tragically, experience the fading light that comes from within ourselves. 

In face of the very real, very scary existence of travesty, terror, and pain - we remind you of the power of that glimmering light inside of you.

Don't let it fade. Spread it!

Tell the person next to you why they are wonderful and worthy of love. Serve in your community. Give to the needy. Help that elderly woman to her car. Help promote a healthier environment. Save a stray and starving dog. Build a loving, humble, safe home for your family...Whatever it means to you, give your time to what's good in our world...and keep loving others...

...because "a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle" - James Keller. 


Rachel Cord, Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern #89397. Pacific MFT Network, Β© 2016.

Strong Body-Strong Mind | Eating Disorder Support Group | Fall Schedule

Sliding fee scale available if needed.

See Fall schedule below.

Please contact Pacific MFT Network directly for information on joining!

www.pacificmft.com

Fall ED Tribe Schedule

Fall Session I

Tuesdays 430-6PM

Sep 6th

Sep 13th

Sep 20th

2 week break

Fall Session II

Tuesdays 430-6 PM

Oct 11th

Oct 18th

Oct 25th

Nov 1st

Nov 8th

Nov 15th

1 week break

Fall Session III / Holiday Session

Tuesday 430-6PM

Nov 29th

Dec 6th

Dec 13th

Dec 20th

SquadTalk & Brunch Girls Group! (Pacific MFT Network)

New girls brunch group in Manhattan Beach! Details below. #squadgoals

New girls brunch group in Manhattan Beach! Details below. #squadgoals

Come hang with the girls and:

When: Sundays at 10:00am, BEGINNING July 17th, for 6 weeks

Where: Pacific MFT Network, 1230 Rosecrans Avenue, Manhattan Beach, CA

How much: $45/session - includes breakfast, coffee, and tea.

Now what: Call or text Pacific MFT Network at (310)-226-2826 for more information*

*Squad Talk and Brunch is a closed anxiety process group for women between the ages of 17 and 24 years old, facilitated by one of our fabulous therapists, Marina Braff, MFT Intern 89340, under the supervision of Tracy Bevington, MFT 53455

Pacific MFT Network is a professional network of highly skilled licensed Marriage & Family Therapists and Marriage & Family Therapist Interns that are committed to empowering a sense of self in our clients and helping them achieve goals. 

email me: rachel@pacificmft.com